Are you afraid to speak up? Ask for a promotion? Advocate for yourself?
How do you defeat fear? You can’t. But you can learn to dance with it. Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell What’s more valuable than time?
Attention. How often do we multitask during Zoom meetings? What’s more important than attention? Trust. How often do you pitch an idea where leadership listens attentively but doesn’t buy into your vision? You wouldn’t have to pitch as hard if you had their trust. So, how might you build trust? Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell How many bad ideas do you have?
It’s easy to come up with obvious answers to hairy problems. But unfortunately, the obvious answers rarely work. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be hairy problems. Instead of trying to find the perfect answer, what might happen if you come up with dozens of terrible ideas? Likely, interesting ideas will bubble to the surface. Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell Do you prefer mental challenges or physical ones? What might you gain if you embrace the other side?
Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell What would your younger self be impressed with you today? What dreams have you let go of?
What would you like to change? Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell Have a loved one who won’t get the COVID vaccine?
Is there someone close who goes against what you truly feel is right? Practicing radical acceptance is hard. And worth it. Accepting someone’s decisions isn’t the same as agreeing. But it provides a path forward to continue the relationship. What might happen if you completely disagree with your team’s project but become its greatest supporter? Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell When do decisions feel riskiest?
Decisions feel riskiest when they are in an area where you have little experience. This makes sense. You don’t have a wealth of knowledge. It’s hard to trust the other party. However, you don’t know what you don’t know. So in cases where you know little about the subject area, you need to take the leap and trust. Then, of course, do your due diligence. But googling serious topics for a few days doesn’t equal years of experience. Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell I do it all the time. Even after winning multiple music competitions, I often felt utterly outclassed during violin auditions.
Telling myself that “I’m great” didn’t work. For those suffering from the same disease, try this, the three Cs. Catch. Check. Change. Catch yourself and notice the tornado of negative thoughts. Think like a scientist and check it against the evidence of past experiences. Is it true? What does the evidence show? Then change your mindset. Recognize the passing thoughts for what they are. How do you manage imposter syndrome? Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell Communication workshops often use role-playing to practice pitching skills, active listening, and more. However, getting people to do it is worse than pulling teeth.
Instead of fighting it, how might we design more fun and meaningful activities? The key is to lower the stakes, eliminate fake scenarios, and give people multiple chances to practice in the real world during daily life. Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell How do you follow up a 2-hr speech about one of the bloodiest battles in the US Civil war from Edward Everett, one of the most famous orators of his time?
President Lincoln spoke powerfully about liberty, equality, and slavery in just two minutes in his Gettysburg address. For your next presentation, how might you condense your message? Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell How would you feel if your next meeting went 10 minutes long?
What if it finished 10 minutes earlier? How might you speed up your next meeting? Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell What happens if we add the word “yet” to our internal dialogue?
I don’t feel comfortable asking for a promotion … yet. I don’t feel comfortable leading the project … yet. I don’t feel comfortable saying no … yet. Then find the first micro-step that can take you closer to where you want to go Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell Practice. Practice. Practice.
However, does practice really get you to Carnegie Hall? Practicing is just the start. Nerves can wreck a performance. So musicians “practice” performing, first for a close friend, then for a group of friends. They progress with increasing pressure levels, performing for a small group of strangers, then a larger group. Musicians often perform in small cities before their Carnegie Hall debut. Though we are not performing in Carnegie Hall, we have high-pressure performances, like pitching a crucial project, asking for a promotion, or advocating for leadership positions. Instead of practicing our communication skills in our head, what happens if we practice in the real world, first with friends, then strangers, before pitching to the executive committee? Practice the art of pitching by pitching favorite restaurants to friends? Next, lead hard conversations with family, then lead complex discussions at work? Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell Why did you do that?
Help me understand what led to this? Words matter. Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell When you have conversations, what percentage do you talk? Listen?
Whether you’re a better talker or listener, what might happen if you flip roles for a day and try something new? Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell Every major decision has risks. We’re good at looking at new risks—the dangers of changing jobs, changing departments, and asking for a raise.
But, what about the risk of remaining in the status quo? Of regrets and lost opportunities? How do you make sure you’re looking at both sides of risks? Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell Why do kids open up more on car rides to and from school?
It’s more comfortable to share when you know there’s a short window of time. Also, there’s no chance for long lectures. The same thing can happen at work. How might having shorter meetings help move things along? Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell What would life be like without mirrors? If you had no idea what you looked like?
We pay attention to how we look and can quickly get unvarnished feedback (selfie!). How do we get feedback on how we treat others? Communicate? How do you know if you're a bit rough and messy? Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell What’s your favorite cocktail?
Likely, it has a fun and memorable name. You feel excited to order it, say it out loud, and share with others Names matter. What name might you give a project you’re pitching? Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell How many friends do you invite to a dinner party if you want to connect in a meaningful way? Where everyone at the table is listening and contributing to a topic that means the world to you?
Now, compare that to the number of people in your meetings? What might you do today to change that? Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell You should be proud if you’re the “best” violinist in Wyoming. That is a terrific achievement. We should celebrate the top violinists from Vermont, Alaska, and Rhode Island as well.
Now, imagine you’re just the 10th-ranked player in Ohio. How might you feel? The 10th-ranked player might be a stronger player. The population of Ohio is larger than the ten smallest states in America. It’s easy to feel low when comparing yourself to others. However, the internet connects the world, making it easier to compare. What you use as a comparison group matters. How do you make sure the story you tell yourself is true? Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell The record for the longest period of continuous rain is an incredible 331 consecutive days in Maui. Thunderstorms typically last around half an hour.
Preparing and getting through a thunderstorm and continuous rain need different approaches. So does pushing through emotionally charged work. How do you recognize which type of work you’re doing (intense thunderstorms that go quickly or a long slog)? Then, how do you push through it and recharge? Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell Years ago, I had trouble getting my team at Playful Tunes to respond to emails within 48 hours.
Puzzled, I tried to figure out what the issue was. Then, I realized I didn’t email my friends. I texted them. So, I quickly moved all internal communications to Slack, a messaging platform. My older colleagues didn’t understand the reason for the change. They asked, “What’s the difference between email and Slack? Don’t they do the same thing?” My younger colleagues loved it! They responded to messages in minutes if not seconds. In the end, my older colleagues enjoyed Slack too! How do we ensure we have the best tools to serve our needs, especially as technology rapidly changes? Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell Likely, you had sore muscles the next day. This is a good thing. After rest, your muscles will repair themselves and become stronger.
The problem occurs when you push your muscles too hard. Then, you may injure yourself. Therefore, recognizing how much to push is crucial. The same goes for pushing our comfort zone mentally. If we avoid all pressure situations, our growth is limited. But, on the other hand, anxiety creeps in if we try too hard. How do you recognize whether you’re pushing yourself too much or too little? Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell My friend Cindy runs religiously. At home, in the rain, on vacation, in the snow, you’ll always find her running in the morning.
Me? Not so much. Before running, I used to think about which route, how long, and how far. That didn’t work. Instead of planning, now, I focus on what the first step is: putting on one shoe. How many times have you put on one shoe and not the other? Put on shoes and not go outside? Instead of focusing on the steps, what happens if we focus on the first domino that makes everything happen? What is the first domino in a project you’ve been meaning to get to? Thanks for caring! With gratitude, Anwell |
Anwell's Blog |